Not now, I've got a headache...

So I mentioned in my previous post that I won the 'Carer's Award' at The Stroke Association's 'Life After Stroke Awards' in 2007. It was all true, here it is:

It weighs a ton and although I'm incredibly proud of it, I would definitely throw it at a burglar should our house be broken into. I'm pretty paranoid about things happening to the house/mum and Katie, whilst I'm out. (I know I'm only 22 but I'm notoriously old before my time. I have a favourite cardigan and love my cat, Tigger, more than most people.) There have been times when my mum has been confined to her bed (4 achilles tendon surgeries, 5 mini strokes and the removal of an ovarian tumour will do that to ya) and I have been reluctant to leave her alone whilst I go shopping. I read a story on the internet once about a woman who died alone and before anyone found her, she'd been mostly eaten by her cat. Naturally, I overfeed our cat just in case I'm out, mum collapses and Tigger is hungry enough to start nibbling at her unconcious body. It's costing a fucking fortune in Felix but at least I have peace of mind...

 Does he look hungry to you?

Mum and I are sometimes able to go out together for some quality time. (Katie has 15 hours of respite a week which is pretty shit but we're grateful. She has a better social life than we do...) Now, I don't want to sound pretentious but in our small town, everyone either knows us or wants to know us. We can't walk five minutes down the street without someone stopping us for a chinwag. Gets right on my left one. Usually it's some asshole shouting ''Wow, you're tall''. Like I hadn't noticed. ''Fuck me, am I?!! Thanks for letting me know pal...'' or ''How tall are you?'' ''6ft so you need to be AT LEAST 6'2'' for this ride'' ;) The other day a guy actually shook my hand when I told him my height, as if he was congratulating me on my success. That's right, being tall is a craft I've been working on. Fuckwit. Anyway, my point is that we only ever have three hours to spend in town and that's damn precious time! We have bills to pay, food to buy, wine to choose...so what really fucks me off is when people who are familiar with our situation monopolise our time. Sitting in our favourite coffee shop (Caffe Nero: mum's is a one shot, soya latte and I'll have a hot, skimmed milk - thank you!) is a treasured moment, as we don't get chance to have a good old gossip amongst the shit collecting and mothering at home. Just the other day we were deep in conversation (Shag, Marry, Avoid: Dr Christian from Embarrassing Bodies, Denzel Washington, Mr Bean - the results were quite surprising!) when an elderly couple we're acquainted with plonked their wrinkly asses down at our table and proceeded to dominate the conversation with 'tips on selling a motor home at this time of year' and did we 'know that you can get a fried egg batch from Wetherspoons for £2.20?' That ballsy little voice inside my head wanted to shout ''if you fuck off now I'll pay for you BOTH to have a Spoons batch, filling of your choice!'' But the well-mannered sap inside prevailed and I waited patiently for their teeth to fall out. They stayed for an hour. A whole, fucking hour! They were like two cockroaches that wouldn't die. You know, the ones that live for days without their heads. So it begs the question; where do we draw the line between frank and rude? How do you hint that you'd like someone to leave you alone? Respite is incredibly important for carers. We rely on it much like Amy Winehouse relied on crack; it's an equally volatile relationship. I've decided that next time, and there will be a next time because people fucking love us, I'll just stand up and be honest. So if you see us out, remember: you get to go home at the end of a 9-5 to relax and forget about your day. For us, it's a 24/7 grind and we love the time we get to spend as mother and daughter. If you're not invited to join us, piss off and leave us alone. And if you're offended by that, well, there's an old couple sat in Wetherspoons enjoying a fried egg batch that would LOVE your company...

Love,
Amy x